“That sounds like a problem for Future Marshall and Future Ted!” – How I Met Your Mother

I am sorting out my karma these days, or trying to at least. Of course, we are all forever sorting through our karma whether we are conscious of it or not; I am just feeling especially aware of it. For those who don’t know or only have a vague sense of what karma is, it is a Buddhist concept that essentially boils down to cause and effect, and by extension, developing the skills required to consider what the consequences of our actions will be.

For example, if I am walking down the street and I hear a noise that distracts me, and I unintentionally collide with another person and knock them down, I have bruised that person without intending to. The consequences of the accidental collision can vary from a simple weird moment to calling an ambulance, depending on the age and strength of the other person, how they fall, and other factors beyond our control. Whatever the consequences are, we have to accept them and do our best to make it up to the injured party.

Karma intensifies according to intention. In the example above, the collision was accidental. If I were to intentionally put my shoulder to some unsuspecting person on the street and knock them down, all of the consequences of an accident are there plus the anger that would result from being intentionally struck. The results could include a fight, more serious injuries, criminal charges, or worse.

Lately I have had to deal with a lot of collisions, both initiated by me and as a recipient. It has not been easy sometimes, but it has not been unbearably difficult either, and I think the reasons for that are threefold:

1. My intentions have been good. Even if some of my actions lately have caused some pain or inconvenience or worry to others, they know that I did not intend to harm them in any way, that I am sorry for their pain, and that I will do whatever I can to make it up to them. I have tried (and I hope, succeeded) to make choices that benefit others as well as myself more often than not.

2. The intentions of others have been good too. No one has been trying to hurt me, which makes it easier to deal with things in a constructive way.

3. I have been well supported. At the hardest moments, friends and family and loved ones have listened to me and helped me in all kinds of ways. I have tried to show my appreciation for this support and repay it in kind when others need it. A good support network is like wearing a suit of armor instead of regular clothes; it can help absorb life’s blows and even keep you standing long enough to steady yourself.

It has been a hell of a week, from the low point of a serious car accident to the high point of visiting a woman who I am very much in love with, and what feels like a million smaller actions and choices in between. It is a lot to process, but as the dust clears it does appear that everyone will be all right in time, and that is a relief. I can see others around me dealing with their own karma and I am glad to see them making positive choices for themselves, and glad to help them however I can.

I think ultimately, that is what happiness is: feeling loved, supported, and secure enough to see our karma clearly and deal with it skillfully, accepting consequences and letting go of our past, performing actions in the present that we can live with in the future.