Wow, that is one bad movie. I figured it would be bad, as each of the IJ films have only gotten worse since the first, but I never dreamed that it would be this bad.

I get what they were trying to do. Put Jones in the 50s, make little nods to a bunch of different 50s movies (as well as Spielberg and Lucas’ early blockbusters); but the Roswell/Chariots of the Gods story is weak. Mare and I came up with several good alternatives (including one that allowed them to use Nazis instead of Reds) within ten minutes after the end of the film. When I can come up with a better script in ten minutes than highly paid Hollywood directors can after many years, that is not a good sign.

Where did it go wrong? I was with it until the jungle chase scene. At first it was goofy, with the sword fight; then it was overlong; then it was really lame, with Shia swinging from vine to vine. It was an OK movie up until then; afterward it was a breathless and brainless rush of one set piece upon another, each stupider than the last, each more reliant on CG than the last, until we find ourselves reliving the conclusion of the X-Files movie. Which would be fine if it was, you know, an X-Files movie.

I can understand why Lucas would fail; he hasn’t written a decent script in 30 years. But Spielberg should know better. He should be able to understand that what people loved about Raiders of the Lost Ark (and by extension, Indiana Jones) is that unlike all of the sequels, the plot felt like The Amazing Race, with the good guys jumping from one exotic location to another, one step ahead of the villains. This movie feels like National Treasure 2; an idiotic movie about uninteresting people solving cute CGI puzzles in pretty locations.